The Ideal Woman (2)

We continue our exploration of the ideal woman under the helpful guidance of the Viscount Mountmorres, who, at the very least, possessed an impecable moustache.

For my part, I think the first requirement in woman in true womanliness ... That outrage on human nature which seeks to cover its defective womanhood under an ill and grotesque copy of man's trappings in speech, manner, thought, and appearance, is fortunately an abomination rarely met with in life, being rather the creature of modern imagination.

Thank heavens for that, sir.

Detestable as is the blue-stocking, I am almost inclined to think the vapidity some times met with worse. There is scarcely any charm, to my mind, greater than a truly beautiful mind, bright in expression, quick of comprehension; a mind that keeps its owner apace with the times, enables her to shine - always without effort - in any company ... If a woman be blessed with such a mind, and have at the same time escaped conceit and self-consciousness, she is always an agreeable companion; and were more women agreeable companions there would be fewer unhappy homes.

So, make an effort, girls.

My ideal is she whose moods are variable as an April day, full of sunshine and gladness, yet capable of deep distress; bringing light and gaiety and warm laughter in her train, but at the same time with a fount of tears for the sorrowing and sad or in the presence of suffering ... 

A fun time to be had be all, if you bag a Viscount, plainly.

I always think it is this very combination, this mixture of bright levity and true depth of feeling, which many Englishmen have found so lovable in our transatlantic cousins, in whose blood it has been innoculated by generationd which have known the wild, glad freedom, yet serious responsibilities and trials, or building up a new country.

Well, that's one theory, I suppose. But, strangely, he agrees with Mr. Frankfort Moore, right at the end:

Let a woman who would merit and gain a man's love and lasting respect not seek after effect, let her think nothing of being ideal, but live her own life according to her own natural instincts, and she will come as near to perfection as she was meant to be. Let her once endeavour to be perfect and that moment she will fall back into the outer darkness of unloved woman.

So, for all you unloved woman out there, the Viscount's message is, ladies, don't try too hard.

I will spare you the full thoughts of the Hon. Stuart Erskine, who ends the piece, except for this gem:

There are two kinds of ideal womankind - the useful, and the purely (and merely) ornamental.

This post is dedicated to all the useful ladies out there.

The Ideal Woman

In 1897, The Lady's Realm (a popular magazine of the day) asked some minor male celebrities to define 'an ideal woman'. Here's some edited highlights. We begin with little-remembered author and poet Frank Frankfort Moore, who waxes poetical:

She is easy to live with. She is worth dying for. She is the high light in the charcoal drawing of humanity, man being the charcoal. She is the skylight in the edifice of human life. She has no history. She has no story. She is the plectrum that makes music with the haert-strings of a man. She is the key by which he is kept constantly in tune. She is the rhythm which transforms the prose of life into poetry.

But then gets a little more prosaic:

She wears a reasonable hat at matinées ... She knows sixteen ways of arranging flowers on the dinner-table. She abhors coloured paper-shades on the candles. She knows how to choose a juicy joint of beef. She laughs when the fishmonger gives her hints about turbot. 

Then a bit moralising:

She knows there is no difference between the woman who calls herself smart and the woman whom respectable people called vulgar.

Then frankly mysterious:

She makes an honest attempt to understand cats, and cats understand her.

But then he pulls it back for all the women out there:

She knows that every real woman is the Ideal Woman, the fact being that every idea of the Ideal Woman is wholly dependent on the idealist, and every woman who is idolised is idealised.

Ah, Frank, I bet you were a devil with the ladeez, my friend.

For any female readers who only know fifteen ways of arranging flowers on the dinner table, or just can't get their head round cats, don't despair, there's more on 'Ideal Women' to follow ... watch this space ...

Home Improvements

HOME IMPROVEMENTS

Did you think TV shows like 'Changing Rooms' et al. invented the popular interior design advice format?

Think again and refer to the wisdom of Mrs. Talbot Coke (surely a pseudonym? if not, it is too Victorian a name for words!) in the pages of Hearth and Home. Victorian women's magazines are endlessly fascinating ... here is just a snippet of Mrs. Coke's sage advice ...

Addendum ... Mrs. Talbot Coke was the name, as a reader informs me below ... see this link.